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From Stephen R Coveys to Shiv Kheras, the gurus who make millions by selling success mantras speak only the half truth. They hide the other, the inevitable side of the coin. Failure.
While all energies are focused on sharpening attributes leading to success, no one talks about skills that would help coping with failure. In their scheme of things, failure does not exist. They are marketing success.
The uncomfortable truth is, without the punctuation of failure, there is no success. Like day and night, durations vary with changing seasons, but, success and failure remain integrally entwined.
The deceit comes from the fact that success is measured by strides taken outwardly, in the world. In terms of power, position, money. The moment this strides slows down, or, comes to a halt, everything else stops. Including emotional richness of life. All that has come by way of success, slips away. Friends, relations, recognition, appreciation, confidence, at times, even family.
All that gyan honed for success leaves a large gaping hole. Grown larger when left unattended with growing success, on, how to manage failure? The hollowness, the worthlessness, the breaking up of relationships, the pain of not receiving respect and recognition and loss of self esteem! No gyan comes from success gurus to rescue!
Material success is over glamourised like sex. We were told lies about its encompassing reach, we hand over the same to our children. All of us have experienced the low that comes after the high of getting a new raise, new car, anew gadget or a new house. The hollowness of ‘what next’? Neither the success gurus nor pushy, over driven parents ever share this side of the success story with children. Nor do they prepare for failure. All efforts are centered at postponing it.
Each one gropes in the dark to manage failure and loss, in ones own way. No mantra is available on the shelf to deal with the painful, unavoidable truth of life.
Reign Over Me, a Hollywood flick deals with unspeakable pain of its protagonist who finds all trappings of life taken away by one blow of destiny. The once successful doctor tries every thing under the sun, from escapism, turning to be an alcoholic to attempting suicide and attempt to homicide. His pain may look poetic on screen, it swings between desolation to desperation. Looking for the last metaphoric straw of hope in the winds of change.
The other side of coin too gains prominence with fixation for success.