If Corona spares, the fear of being brain-dead will sure kill.
On the 130th day the Corona- imposed quarantine, something hit me hard. I forgot how to turn the wipers on, in my car. This was the fourth alarming act or rather the ‘missed act’ in a span of over 100 days. I had forgotten to light the gas after turning the knob on, had forgotten to bolt the doors of the main gate at night, was looking for the switchboard in my own living room... these were not signs of going crazy... yet the fear gripped. The chances of going brain-dead seemed likely.
My friend, late Khushwant Singh used to say, brain is just a muscle, like other body muscles; if you exercise it, it keeps fit.
Late or alive, Khushwant Singh couldn’t be trusted on the matters of mind. So I look up Google. It says, anatomically, your brain isn’t a muscle; although it contains a bit of muscle, it’s a complex cellular structure with gray and white matter, and its function is far more complex than of a muscle. Well, whatever it is, I assume, it’s important that I keep it in a working condition till I can maintain a vertical position of my body.
If Google can be trusted; it suggests five things to keep the brain active.
Good conversation-- at number one. The last when I had a proper conversation with someone living and breathing was, in February, during my tour of Tamil Nadu, before Corona instilled the fear of breathing human beings. Telephone or zoom are fake substitutes, I soon realised.
Reading good books. Well, I read a lot and after I finish a book, a strange kind of void returns with greater force, as though, I’ve lost a friend. ( If anyone cares to read books i have, I’m willing to share the ones I’ve read, which are usually hugely marked and underlined—you too can experience your void).
Get math games. This is beyond me. I dread numbers. I’ve no shame admitting, I used to flunk my math exam. The car company called me the other day for service, the girl on the other end cooed, what’s the number of your car, mam, I said, hold on, let me walk to the car!
Play games. Yes, but you can’t play games with the ghosts or memories; the living, breathing beings are a danger to your mere existence.
Keep a pet. The other day a friend offered a squirrel as pet, but i wasn’t sure when the next WHO report would declare squirrels as potential carriers! The latest one from WHO; the fart of an infected person has the potential to infect you! And who knows, the Chinese, in some other city like Wuhan would take a fancy of the cute, swift, playful pet, and it ends up in their stomach instead of a tree!
Though, Google doesn’t suggest it, but those who say, a partner is better in these times, in my small society, two cases of violence have been reported in this short span. I guess, being alone is better than at the receiving end of a hammer on the head!
I decide to find my own ways. I take my car and go on long drives, alone. There is no fear of human contact. I can see them all; walking, talking, working, standing, squatting, driving, running, playing, laughing. Real people. People, just like me but seen from the bubble of my car, from a safe distance. It gives me the feeling of being alive—as though I am back into the game of human existence with all its follies and rewards.
When I return home-- to my quarantine-- I’m gripped by the same void.
As though, I lost a dear friend.
picture courtesy--English News Channel
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