The YOLO moments of a cancer diary

 Placed among names like Manisha Koirala, Lisa Ray and Yuvraj Singh-- Ananya Mukherjee doesn’t ring a bell. Unlike them, she is not a cancer survivor. She succumbed to cancer. 

In 2016, Ananya was detected of breast cancer. ‘A hyper intelligent woman’, a media professional who loved every breath of life, lost her battle with cancer on Nov 18, 2018, and left behind a diary- “ Tales from the Tail End.” Her diary is a mirror to life-- not death.

She wouldn’t have liked to be called a ‘survivor’, even if she won the battle. Because the term ‘survivor’ had a hollow ring to it, according to her, “Like someone has cleaned out your insides but has left you with just enough to limp through life.” 

Deeply aware of the impending verdict, she gets hold of each living moment; squeezes life out of it in multiple dimensions, and let them fall and go!  

I read Tales from Tail End, published by Speaking Tiger, a thin- 100- page-beautifully illustrated diary , in one sitting.  As a matter of principle, I don’t read anything related to cancer or death. Having seen enough disease and death in family, I feel, such writings have nothing new to offer. I'm equally averse to inspirational tales. But, Tales from The Tail End, took me through the working of highly evolved mind, who looks at approaching end with amused humour with a tinge of helplessness that is disarming and endearing. Her humour is not a coping mechanism for pain and suffering; it’s a brave statement—of an incorrigible lover of life who wouldn’t give up on her love even if it meant side-stepping life to have a hearty laugh at its end-game.

 Kundera said, a good poem leaves you with a lump in the throat. Few chapters in this diary led me to a deep silence. Ananya puts a face to death and suffering and in the same breath she paints it with a brush of unfailing humour and joie de vivre. It is this unique quality that turns intimate and rather painful relationship of a cancer patient with things like pain, needles and wigs appear playful fun. “My wig. You are like me. Headstrong, fancy-free, unreliable and charitraheen,” she writes. Sidestepping painful chemo sessions, a reality to live with, she still says, “But heartbreak and bikini wax still top my list in the ‘most painful’ charts.”

 An undercurrent of unfailing irony runs through the 100 pages that often made me gasp. In times when reading has become unfashionable, this book has come as a welcome change. Thank you Imtiaz, for sending a copy!  I wish, i knew Ananya!  

( a chapter is named YOLO-you only live once-in Tales from the Tail End)

Tales  from the Tail End by Ananya Mukherjee. Speaking Tiger. Pages 101. Price Rs 399